What Is High Functioning Anxiety?
Do you feel pressure to look like you have it all together, but internally feel like you’re struggling? Do you beat yourself up when your to-do list is left unfinished and feel guilty for taking a break? Do you only feel good about yourself when you’re accomplishing goals and being productive? If so, you may struggle with high-functioning anxiety.
While high-functioning anxiety is not a formal diagnosis, it is a term that describes the emotional experience of high-functioning individuals who silently struggle with anxiety behind closed doors. This term has resonated with many people who have previously felt like their experience with anxiety wasn’t fully captured by the general anxiety catch-all diagnosis.
A Common But Overlooked Form of Anxiety
High-functioning anxiety is a common yet often overlooked form of anxiety because of the difference between how someone appears on the outside and how they feel on the inside. On the surface, if you struggle with high-functioning anxiety, you might appear totally competent, successful, and in control. The debilitating nature of high-functioning anxiety can’t always be seen by others, but it can take a major toll on you mentally and emotionally.
How It’s Different From Generalized Anxiety
High-functioning anxiety differs from general anxiety in a number of key ways. Someone who struggles with high-functioning anxiety may deal with similar physical, emotional, and mental symptoms, along with added layers of debilitating perfectionism and a deep fear of failure.
Unlike general anxiety, high-functioning anxiety is often tied to an individual’s low sense of self-worth. Due to core beliefs of unworthiness, someone with high-functioning anxiety develops coping mechanisms or overcompensates to mask those feelings and try to prove their value to the world.
Common High Functioning Anxiety Symptoms
High-functioning anxiety often feels like you’re carrying a constant mental load, even if everything looks fine on the outside. Here are a few things that those struggling with high-functioning anxiety might be afraid to admit out loud:
- “I look calm on the outside, but I’m constantly battling racing thoughts and fear on the inside.”
- “I push myself to be perfect because I’m terrified of failure, but it only makes everything worse.”
- “I feel like I’m always on the verge of an anxiety attack, but I keep pushing through to avoid letting anyone see it.”
External Behaviors
If you struggle with high-functioning anxiety, on the outside, you may:
- Appear successful and achieve many accomplishments
- Say yes to everything and have a lot on your plate
- Be a highly detail-oriented over-planner
- Seem ambitious and goal-oriented
- Look like you’ve got it all under control
- Constantly stay busy with a packed calendar
- Always go above and beyond for others
Internal Experiences
However, if you struggle with high-functioning anxiety, on the inside, you may:
- Feel a constant pressure to be ‘on’ all the time
- Overthink or replay conversations in your mind
- Feel guilty for resting and struggle to give yourself a break
- Beat yourself up over mistakes and have a loud inner critic
- Have a deep-rooted fear of failure
- Worry about disappointing or letting others down
- Have difficulty sleeping due to racing thoughts
- Struggle with letting go of control
Understanding the Root of High-Functioning Anxiety
If you have high-functioning anxiety, your childhood experiences might hold the key to understanding why. Here are a few ways that your early childhood experiences may be impacting your experience with high-functioning anxiety:
You were praised only for your achievements. Growing up, praise may have been reserved for your successes. If you did well, you received love or approval. But if you made a mistake or didn’t perform, you might have felt like you weren’t enough. As an adult, this translates into an overwhelming need to prove yourself constantly, because your sense of worth became tied to achievement.
Your worth was tied to how well you performed. In an environment where success was emphasized, you likely learned that if you weren’t perfect, you weren’t good enough. Failure was seen as unacceptable, and it created a constant drive to keep achieving. Now, as an adult, this perfectionism follows you, making it hard to relax, enjoy your achievements, or feel proud of yourself.
You were taught that emotions were “too much.” Growing up in an environment where big feelings were seen as overwhelming or unimportant may have led you to believe your emotions were something to hide. As an adult, this results in a constant need to keep everything “together”- to be perfect and in control- even when it’s not realistic or healthy.
You learned that anxiety was a survival mechanism. Anxiety might have been your way of staying in control and preparing for the worst. Maybe you were taught that worrying would help you avoid mistakes, make you more prepared, or protect you from danger. As an adult, this survival mechanism has become ingrained, causing you to feel constantly anxious and on edge, even when things are actually okay.
Why High Functioning Anxiety Often Goes Untreated
The Mask of Success
High-functioning anxiety is often overlooked, and therefore, goes untreated. Since those struggling with it often appear competent, successful, and like they ‘have it all together,’ it’s easily missed. The fear of failure, exhaustion, and low self-worth can stay hidden. People dealing with it may also be so used to the constant pressure that they never pause to challenge it or even consider that there’s another way to live.
Moreover, those struggling with high-functioning anxiety may over-identify with the high-achieving parts of themselves and worry about losing their sense of identity if they peel back some of the layers.
Cultural Messages That Reinforce It
Not only is high-functioning anxiety often overlooked, but in many cases, it’s actually praised and reinforced by a society that values success and achievement above all else. Those with high-functioning anxiety might hear feedback like:
- “You’re such a hard worker!”
- “You’re always so put together.”
- “You never complain!”
These kinds of comments can subconsciously reinforce unhealthy beliefs and behaviors. This creates a positive feedback loop, where anxiety-driven behaviors are rewarded with praise, making it even harder to seek help. Internally, though, the person may feel like they’re barely holding it together.
Overcoming High-Functioning Anxiety
At Mindful Mental Health Counseling, we work with adults struggling with high-functioning anxiety who want another way. Through therapy, it is possible to cultivate a sense of self-worth
that is separate from your achievements and finally feel safe enough to rest so that you’re no longer plagued by exhaustion or the pressure to always have it all together. Ready to start therapy to overcome high-functioning anxiety? Contact us today for personalized anxiety therapy in NYC and NJ. Schedule a complimentary consultation call to learn more. We are here to support you.
Want to learn more about the process of therapy for anxiety? Read our blog post: Finding Relief: Your Guide to Anxiety Therapy in New York City.
A Message to Those Struggling with High-Functioning Anxiety
To those struggling with high-functioning anxiety, here’s your reminder that:
- It’s okay to not “have it all together.”
- Your best is good enough.
- Your worth is not tied to your accomplishments.
- You deserve to rest without guilt.
